I thought I would do something unusual for this blog. Cathy and I have been busy working hard on a talk that we are doing on Valentine’s Day called “Cherishing Your Mate.” If you want to bring stress and strife, try to do this type of work with your mate! Satan loves to attack relationships when they are trying to do something good for God. Just expect it! However, this does not mean you should not try! Just be conscious that it will come.
I wanted to share the results of our work for our blog readers. The following are elements that stood out for us on how to cherish your mate. Paul calls it a mystery. Here is the outline we are using.
The meaning of cherish: To care for tenderly; to keep fondly in mind; to embrace with interest; to foster with tenderness and to soften with heat. As you cherish your mate, it warms her heart and softens her attitude toward you.
Key: How Christ loved the church is a picture of how husbands and wives ought to cherish each other.
Ephesians 5:25-28, The Message reads:
“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor — since they're already "one" in marriage.”
Husbands, you cherish your wives by…
Giving: A love marked by giving, not getting. Cherishing your wife involves self-sacrificing.
Saying: Your words evoke her beauty and bring out the best in her.
Cherishing your wife involves engaging her.
Doing: Everything you do and say brings out the best of her.
Cherishing your wife involves doing acts of love.
Ephesians 5:22-24 The Message Reads:
“Wives understand and support your husband in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides (servant) leadership for his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.”
Wives, you cherish your husband by…
Respecting: Brings with it admiration and esteem.
Cherishing your husband involves trusting his leadership.
Affection: Meaningful touch with feelings of fondness and warmth.
Cherishing your husband involves expressing your love emotionally and physically.
Supporting: Thinking the best and giving encouragement.
Cherishing your husband involves words and actions that build up not tear down.
Ephesians 5:21, 29-33 “The Erickson Version’ Reads:
“Submit to one another out of your respect for Christ. No one abuses their own body, do they? NO, they feed and pamper it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man or woman leaves father and mother in order to cherish each other. No longer two, they become ‘one flesh.’ This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church, which provides a good picture of how each husband and wife is to love and cherish each other.”
Husband and Wives you cherish each other by…
Submitting: Out of a respect and reverence for Christ.
Cherishing each other involves mutual surrender to God and each other.
Honoring: Seeing each other as more precious and valuable than anything or anyone else.
Cherishing each other involves making the other feel like a priceless treasure.
Forgiving: The faith to cease to blame and feel resentment.
Cherishing each other involves releasing the other from a fault and trusting again.
Committing: The knowing that the other will always be there for them.
Cherishing each other involves keeping yourself only for God and each other.
We also recommend Dr. Gary Chapman’s book on “The Five Love Languages” and Bob Record’s book on “Beneath the Surface” as a resource guides for further discussion between the couples. Check out these and see if they are helpful in understanding the mystery of your mate.
Imagine the possibilities!